The Puppy Love Approximation
by Themightylin
Summary: A ghost from Leonard's past comes back to haunt him.


Opening scene

(A woman, sobbing, runs from a large, impressive building. She is wearing a wedding dress. It's snowing outside, and she waves for a cab.

Once she pulls the big white monstrosity into the cab and shuts the door, she pulls out her phone. She sniffles as she presses a few buttons and a picture of Leonard Hofstadter appears. The words "calling" show beneath the picture, and a muted ringing can be heard from this end.)

(From Sheldon and Leonard's apartment, all four of the guys are playing an apparently very intense game of halo. Leonard's phone can be heard over the raucous game and enthusiastic shouting of the guys, but no one seems to notice.)

(Back in the cab, the woman presses a few more buttons and is shown a map. She tearfully but earnestly gives the cabdriver a few directions and they pull away.)

(Back at the apartment, the guys finish up their game, and Howard and Raj are on their way out the door.)

Leonard: No hard feelings, I hope, Howard.

Howard: What? No! I... let you win.. Bernadette is expecting me! Don't wanna keep her waiting -if you know what I mean...

Raj: Get over yourself, dude. Leonard wiped the floor with you.

Leonard: It's no big deal, Raj. Sometimes you guys win, sometimes we win. You know, you'll probably beat us next time.

Sheldon: That's doubtful. All I have to do is organize my plan of attack based on the number of cups of coffee Raj has had during the day, and multiply it by how many hours we've been playing. Essentially, the worse he has to pee, the easier he is to take down. I've been practically pouring it down his throat all day.

Raj: I thought you were just trying to be nice!

(Leonard tilts his head and raises his eyebrow at Raj)

Raj: You know what? Fine! See what I sneak into your endocrine system this week!

(Sheldon straightens his back and turns to Raj)

Sheldon: Oh really! I'd like to see you try.

Raj: Whatever, man, I'm out. Goodnight, Leonard.

Leonard: G'night, Raj. (He shuts the door and turns to Sheldon) You know, you really shouldn't do that.

Sheldon: I don't see why not. He was more than happy to accept the coffee.

Leonard: No, I mean, you shouldn't have given away your strategy. (He smiles) ...That was great!

Sheldon: Yes, well, be that as it may, it's late. I should be getting to bed, or tomorrow I may as well join you in the experimental physics lab. If I don't get my eight hours, I'm worthless.

Leonard: (Sarcastically) Gee, thanx, Sheldon!

(Both exit to the bedrooms and lights fade out)

(Scene)

(A loud knock at the door wakes Leonard. He rolls over, checks the clock, and thinks out loud )

Leonard: the hell? (He puts on his glasses and rolls out of bed.)

(In the apartment, the knocking continues and he hurries to answer it.)

(Lila is on the opposite side. We have not had a good look at her face, and her hair is soaked and blocking view of it. She stands, in a wedding dress, torn off at the knee. She looks a little ghostly until she runs a hand through her hair and pulls it back from her face. She is breathtaking.)

Leonard: Oh my God, you're a woman! ...Lila!

Lila: Leonard.? .. Can I come in?

Leonard: Yeah.. yeah! Please, come in and sit down. I can't believe how big- (she squints at him) I mean- you're so.. (he mimes breasts, and stops himself again.) You're all grown up! It's- great to see you! It must have been .. what, nine? Ten years, since I saw you last? (They sit on the couch, and he takes the blanket and wraps it around her shoulders).

(She looks up at him, their faces are very close. Her face is soaked with tears and melted snow. Leonard freezes for a moment, then breaks his hypnotic state.) You know what? Let me make you some hot chocolate.

Lila: Thank you. (She reaches for a tissue and blows her nose loudly. Leonard raises an eyebrow momentarily.)

Leonard: So, Lila, you look like you've been... busy. Is everything alright?

Lila: Well I just-.. (she looks down at her dress and fiddles with the torn edge) I mean, I was supposed to get married today, but... (she looks around and stands up) Leonard, I'm so sorry to put this on you, maybe I should go-

Leonard: No! No! Please, sit. Here, look, I've got your cocoa. (Leonard hands her the cup and they both sit. Lila on the couch, Leonard in his chair.)

Lila: You've always been so nice to me, Leonard. You know, when we were kids, I had a sort of a crush on you.

Leonard: No way..! (He smiles over his glasses) Really?

Lila: Yeah. Remember that party at John's house? Everybody wanted to play the new Star Wars game, and the first three movies hadn't come out yet. I asked you for a brief plot summary, and you talked about it for four hours! (They laugh)

Leonard: Yeah, I remember that! I didn't know you were listening! (she nods)

Lila: You were four years older. I never got much of an opportunity to spend time with you. (She shrugs) It was the most you ever said to me.

Leonard: (He looks at the ground and squints a little) … And I spent it talking about Star Wars... (Lila smiles) (Leonard shakes his head to clear it) And now I'm talking about me again. You were supposed to get married today! Can I ask what happened?

Lila: Well... now I know why it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony.

Leonard: Why's that?

Lila: (she half smiles) So he doesn't say something stupid and blow it. (Leonard smiles briefly, but clears his throat and asks more seriously)

Leonard: What did he say?

Lila: Well, to make a long story short, he just... doesn't want to have kids. I always imagined I'd have a couple kids, and when I talked about it, he'd just kind of nod and smile and change the subject. ...It's all my fault, I should have seen this sooner..

Leonard: What? No.. you can't blame yourself. He obviously wasn't being honest with you...

Lila: I just... well, he came to wish me luck before the ceremony. There were a lot of people, and I get nervous. Well anyway, I said something like 'You're going to make a great dad someday' and that was it. He kind of blew up at me. Said we're not having kids, and that's that. I guess I panicked. I didn't know where to go. (She starts to cry) I mean, he and I were living together, and everyone I knew was at the ceremony, so I-...

Leonard: You came to me.

Lila: I did try to call first..!

Leonard: No, no it's not a problem. Of course you can stay here. (He gets up and sits beside her and puts his arm around her.) You can stay as long as you need to.

Sheldon: The hell she can!

Leonard: Oh, no. Where did you come from?

Sheldon: Me? Well, I live here! The more appropriate question is where did she come from?

Leonard: (Leonard gets up and takes a few steps toward Sheldon) Look, Sheldon, Lila's been through a lot. She's an old friend of mine. Can you please just try to accept that there is a bigger problem here than the breakfast schedule, and watching Dr. Who in five hours? (Sheldon pauses, looking slightly toward the floor, and then slightly at Lila, who is bedraggled and obviously upset)

Sheldon: ...Did you offer her a hot beverage? (Lila holds up the mug) Very well then. I expect you'll handle the situation appropriately. And with a lower volume. And I will see you in the morning. Good night, Leonard.

Leonard: G'night, Sheldon.

(Sheldon returns to his bedroom.)

Leonard: You know what, Lila, it's late, why don't you just take my room, and I'll sleep here.

Lila: No, I couldn't possibly. I.. should probably go. (She gets up, Leonard gets up after her)

Leonard: (slightly panicked ) What? Go where? Don't be ridiculous. Look, I love sleeping on the couch. (He lies down quickly) It's like it was built for me. (Sure enough, his short stature fits perfectly. He gets up and takes her arm to show her his room.)

Lila: Well.. as long as you're sure it's no trouble...

Leonard: What trouble? No trouble at all. (They turn the corner out of sight)

Lila: Oh look, Star Wars sheets.

Leonard: Yeah, it's like I was expecting you!

(Scene)

(The next morning, Sheldon curiously emerges from his room to the sound of a beautiful singing voice emanating from the kitchen. Leonard is in the shower. Lila is wearing one of Leonard's t-shirts and is making eggs.)

Sheldon: (He approaches skeptically) Good Morning...

Lila: Oh, hi! It was Sheldon, right? Thank you so much for letting me stay last night. I didn't know what I was going to do. I saw your chart on the fridge and went ahead and started making eggs. I hope that's not a problem. (Sheldon smiles)

Sheldon: Not at all, not at all! Thank you very much! (He takes a bite, and Lila watches for his reaction.) Mmmh! (She smiles) M-... this has cheese in it.

Lila: Oh, is that ok? (Sheldon thinks for a moment)

Sheldon: Yes, it's wonderful... (He smiles somewhat mischievously, taking another bite)

(Leonard emerges from the bathroom in his robe)

Leonard: Hey Sheldon! Oh, Lila, you didn't have to do that.

Lila: It's no problem! It's the least I could do. Go ahead, eat! (She smiles sweetly)

Sheldon: Yes, Leonard, eat. (Leonard eyes Sheldon suspiciously, then smiles to Lila and begins eating. Noticing the cheese, he stops for a moment, looks up at Lila, smiles tentatively, and continues eating.)

Leonard: Mmm! That's great! Isn't it, Sheldon?

Sheldon: Oh yes, it is.

Lila: I'm glad you like it. (She continues singing, putting some dishes in the sink.)

(Leonard continues eating the eggs with some obvious difficulty.)

Sheldon: Is there a problem, Leonard?

Leonard: (Trying to sound respectable) No. No there is not a problem. A beautiful woman is in my kitchen and she made me breakfast, and it's perfect. Thank you, Lila.

Lila: You're welcome.

(Leonard shifts for a moment.)

Leonard: Excuse me. (He takes off for the bathroom)

Lila: What's wrong with Leonard?

Sheldon: He's lactose intolerant. I hope you voided your bladder earlier this morning. I wouldn't want to follow him.

(Penny enters)

Penny: Hey guys! - (she notices Lila) .. aaand.. hello.

Lila: Um, hi, my name is Lila, I'm a friend of Leonard's.

Penny: Yeah. (Looking at the shirt) Got that. (Lila parrots Penny's observation and widens her eyes)

Lila: Oh! No. See, I'm just wearing this because I didn't have anything else. (This doesn't help Penny) I mean,- I wasn't naked. -I didn't take this -off- of him, -I'm just borrowing it. (Penny eyes her, confusedly, Sheldon attempts to fill her in.)

Sheldon: Lila this is Penny. Penny, Lila needed clothing because she came to Leonard in a wedding dress, but that's hardly appropriate attire for sleeping in Leonard's bed or cooking eggs.

Lila: Sheldon!

Penny: Hey! It's alright..! It's none of my business..! I told Leonard we should start seeing other people. This is totally fine with me. (She pauses) … Where is Leonard?

Leonard: Right here! (Emerging from the bathroom) No. No, I'm not. (returning.)

Lila: So, Penny, do you live here too?

Penny: Yeah, just across the hall. (Penny eyes the bathroom, then the food)...Does that omelet have cheese in it?

Lila: Yeah, help yourself!

Penny: Don't mind if I do!

Sheldon: You know, Penny, for someone who has so much access to food in the work place, you sure can't seem to get enough of other peoples'.

(Penny stops mid bite)

Penny: Of course not, Sheldon. Eating by myself I wouldn't have the pleasure of sharing your company.

Sheldon: Oh! .. Well now I almost regret my jab at your voracious appetite.

Penny: Really?

Sheldon: No. Bazinga!

(Penny boldly sticks her fork into Sheldon's plate and blatantly eats his eggs. Sheldon is visibly disturbed.)

(An air-sol spray can be heard from the bathroom. Leonard enters.)

Lila: Leonard, I'm so sorry-

Leonard: What? No, no problem, don't worry about it. (He takes a few steps forward and he and Penny are suddenly face to face. Penny displays a forced smile, and Leonard takes a step back.) Um, Penny, this is Lila, Lila, this is Penny.

Sheldon: We've established that, Leonard, move on. For example, by analyzing the way she leered at your misplaced t-shirt, and your previous relationship status, I'm sure Penny would like to know if you and Lila engaged in coitus last night.

Lila and Leonard: No!

Leonard: Sheldon! Please!

Lila: I'm not that kind of girl! (Penny gives Lila a funny look)

Leonard: You're not? (his expression suddenly changes from curiosity to solemnity) Of course you're not! Sheldon, how could you even think of such a thing?

Sheldon: It's not me, it's Penny. It's none of my business what you do in your bedroom, so long as it's not jeopardizing my bandwidth.

Penny: Me? Don't be silly, Sheldon, it's none of my business either. I'm... just.. (she looks for a reason to be in the apartment) I'm here for the food! (She takes another bite and glares at Sheldon)

(Scene)

(At the university cafeteria, the guys are all sitting down to lunch. Leonard is on the phone.)

Leonard: So Lila, you're sure you'll be alright? Because I could come home if you- Oh. You're okay. Yeah, I'll see you in a few hours, ok? Okay, bye.

Raj: (smiling, and a little too interested ) So who is this Lila, and why did she spend the night at your apartment?

Leonard: She's just a friend. A girl I used to know back home. … Although she didn't look like that the last time I saw her.

Howard: Oh, was she a fatty?

Leonard: What? No. She was just... you know, a kid. She was probably only fourteen when I left for college. But that was over ten years ago. She sure has changed...

Raj: Yeah I bet that was more than obvious last night, huh? Huh? (He nudges Howard who chuckles with him)

Leonard: It's not like that! ...She's not that kind of girl.

Howard: What do you mean, she's not that kind of girl? ...-She's not a transvestite, is she?-

Leonard: No..! Jeez, what's wrong with you guys? She's just .. you know. (He continues awkwardly) She probably wasn't just wearing white for the sake of tradition.

Raj: She's a virgin? Can I see her? I've never seen one before!

Leonard: Will you shut up? She's almost like a sister to me!

Howard: Almost and yet... she's not. Am I right?

Sheldon: I don't see what all the fuss is about. It's only in the last few decades that our society has adopted sexual promiscuity before marriage as the norm. If she's a little old fashioned in that regard, kudos to her. … Plus, it means I won't be needing my sound-proof headphones. (Leonard eyes Sheldon and the others, slightly embarrassed, and indignant, and continues eating.)

(Scene)

(Penny's apartment. Penny and Amy are sitting and talking. Penny has a drink in her hand.)

Penny: And I go over there, and there's this beautiful, mysterious woman with skin like milk, and all this dark, gorgeous hair, and she's wearing nothing but his t-shirt!

Amy: No!

Penny: Yeah! I mean, one week he's saying he wants to get married, and the next, he's got this 'old friend' visiting, and Sheldon said something about a wedding dress! Who is this Lila, and why haven't I ever heard of her before? Who does she think she is?

Amy: Would you like me to destroy her?

Penny: What? No!

Amy: If you had let me destroy Pria, your reunion with Leonard would have culminated three months earlier than it did. Although I admit, I just don't understand your fixation on the strange little man.

Penny: No, she's not like Pria. She's so... sweet and innocent.. it's disgusting.

Amy: Revolting.

Penny: You haven't even met her, how do you know she's revolting?

Amy: I inferred it from context, obviously.

(There's a knock on the door)

Penny: It's open!

(Lila enters)

Lila: Hi, Penny, I was hoping I could borrow some vanilla extract. I'm baking a pie, and the boys just don't have some of the more basic cooking supplies.

Penny: (Getting up) Well, I have some, but it sure as heck isn't for baking pies.. (she takes another sip. She gestures toward Amy.) Lila, this is Amy. Amy, Lila.

(Amy shoots out of her seat and shakes Lila's hand vigorously)

Amy: It is an absolute pleasure to meet you. I bet you sing like a sweet nightingale, and have an impressive collection of glass slippers. May I see your cottage some time? (Penny rolls her eyes and Lila smiles awkwardly)

Penny: Here's your extract. -actually, hang on a sec. (She puts a drop in her glass and hands the extract to Lila a second time) Ok, you're good.

Lila: Thanx, Penny, you're a life saver! (Lila exits)

Amy: I bet she makes friends with little white mice and they dance at her whim. (Penny sighs, slightly exasperated) (Amy notices Penny's frustration) But I'll still totally destroy her if that's what you want.

(scene)

(Sheldon and Leonard return from the univeristy and throw their keys in the bowl. )

Lila: You're back! (She hugs Leonard) I'm so happy to see you!

Leonard: (a little flustered) I'm... happy to see you too..! It smells great in here, what've you been up to?

Sheldon: Clearly, she was baking, Leonard, try to keep up.

Lila: Yes, I was. Here. I made you dinner. And for dessert, an apple pie!

Leonard: Wow! Lila, you didn't have to do that. Look, Sheldon, Lila made me a pie. (He beams a smile over his chin.)

Sheldon: But tonight is Tai food night. That's not Tai food.

Lila: Oh. I didn't know, I'm sorry.

Leonard: No, it's fine. It's great! This is way better than Tai food. Right, Sheldon?

Sheldon: No, it's not. Because tonight is Tai food _night_.

Leonard: (Leonard presses his lips together tightly, then says with forced patience ) Well then here's an idea. Why don't you go eat Tai food, and I'll stay here and have a lovely dinner with Lila. (He smiles at her, and she smiles shyly back)

Sheldon: Alright, I can see where this is going, and I want no part of it. (He gets out his phone and heads for the door.) Hello, Raj? It's Tai food night, and Leonard is being a pile of discarded tissue one might commonly find on the floor of the mens' room. Yes, a wad, that's what I said. What do you mean 'what do [I] want [you] to do'. Hop to it, Mister! (He puts the phone to his shoulder and shakes his head) Honestly... (He exits)

Leonard is leaning over the counter toward Lila.

Leonard: So.. it looks like we have the evening to ourselves.

Lila: I guess so..

Leonard: You know, you've changed a lot in the last ten years...

Lila: Yeah, that'll happen... But you know, you really haven't changed much at all. In fact, I think I remember that jacket-..

Leonard: Yeah, well, I changed briefly. You missed it, I had a fuzzy stage.

Lila: Really?

Leonard: Yeah, my hair was all grown out like a young Michael Jackson, but I'm a white boy, so.. It was pretty hot.

Lila: (Giggling) I'm sure it was. (There's a pause as their eyes lock) Leonard...

Leonard: Yeah...?

Lila: You've got a little something- (He's been leaning right into the pasta and it's all over his shirt)

Leonard: Oh crap, I'm so sorry.

Lila: (Giggling) Don't worry, it's no problem, look, I'll clean you right up. (She comes around to his side of the counter with a cloth and starts cleaning his shirt. Leonard is frozen for a moment, watching her. When Lila lifts her head, their eyes lock. She says carefully) Leonard...

Leonard: What, is my nose bleeding? (He checks. She smiles)

Lila: No.. (she takes his hand and moves it away from his face. Leonard watches her hand touching his, and then looks back up at her) Do you remember when I said I had a crush on you when I was younger?

Leonard: Yeah...

Lila: It never stopped. (They kiss. She starts to take off his jacket)

Leonard: (between kisses) Lila – what- what're we- doing?

Lila: I don't know... Wanna do it on the couch?

Leonard: So.. much. (They move to the couch. They're in the middle of kissing when-)

(Raj bursts in with Sheldon behind him)

Raj: We're back-.. !(his voice squeaks out as he catches sight of Lila)

Leonard: Of course...

Sheldon: Leonard! I had sincerely hoped that your guest would be on her way home now. It's getting awfully late at night to be entertaining members of the opposite sex. Lila, I think it best you be on your way.

Leonard: (catching Lila's arm to stop her) Now, Sheldon, Lila's going through a very difficult time. I promised her she could stay as long as she needed to.

Sheldon: Is she deathly ill, and in need of your constant supervision, lest she slip into a coma and inevitably become a corpse?

Leonard: No!

Sheldon: Then I think you're being unreasonable.

Lila: Maybe I should go.

Leonard: No, Lila, you're my guest, and like it or not, Sheldon, I have filled out the appropriate paperwork, and you'll find it on your desk.

Sheldon: (Moves to the desk and flips through some papers) .. Well alright then..! She can stay. (Raj whispers something to Sheldon) Well how am I supposed to know?

Leonard: What is it?

Sheldon: Oh, he wants to know what kind of perfume she's wearing. Apparently it's heavenly, and he'd like to borrow it.

Leonard: Raj! Go home! (Raj moves to say something to Sheldon but Sheldon interrupts him)

Sheldon: Oh just go, I'm perfectly aware that Leonard is being unreasonable.

Lila: Um, bye, Raj, it was nice, sort of meeting you. (Raj waves, and exits)

Sheldon: Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed. And as per the room mate agreement, I trust that there will not be any auditory disturbances. Good night.

Leonard: Goodnight, Sheldon...! (Sheldon exits. Leonard shyly, hopefully, turns back to Lila) So, um.. we were.. (he leans toward her, but she resists).

Lila: I... really shouldn't be doing this... but.. thank you. For everything. Goodnight, Leonard. (She blows him a kiss and exits to the bedroom.)

Leonard: (sighs and pulls the blanket over himself), Goodnight, Lila...

(scene)

(In the morning, Leonard is asleep on the couch. Lila is sitting on the arm of the couch, tickling his face with a bit of her hair.)

Lila: (Quietly) Leonard... (Leonard groans a bit and rubs his face. Lila giggles) Leonard...

Leonard: Hm..? (He opens his eyes and looks up at her. He smiles) Hey you..! (She moves to the middle of the couch and smiles)

Lila: Hi... Did you sleep well?

Leonard: (quietly) After the initial frustration, yes..

Lila: Can I talk to you about something?

Leonard: Oh no, here it comes...

Lila: What?

Leonard: This was all a big mistake, and you're going back to your finacé. I knew it. (he buries his head in his hands)

Lila: (smiles) Why would I do that?

Leonard: Of course you are, because I'm short and awkward and pathetic and everyone knows it.

Lila: Leonard...

Leonard: (He looks up cautiously) Well, you are, aren't you?

Lila: (shaking her head slightly) No.

Leonard: You're not?.. Well then...(he clears his throat) what did you want to talk about?

Lila: Just that... I've known you for a long time. I know that you're a brilliant physicist, and a grown man, but.. (she searches his face) that deep down in there is a little boy, who's so lonely it hurts.

Leonard: (He looks into her eyes briefly, but deflects) What? Me? Nawww... I'm fine, really.

Lila: (she brings his face back toward her gently, and leans forward a bit, watching his mouth, Leonard tries to lean back, but hits the arm of the couch. He swallows nervously. Lila continues) I recognize him, and I want to take care of him... if you'd let me. I never want him to hurt again.

Leonard: (a little overwhelmed, his voice shakes a bit) Okay..- (they kiss gently) (she looks him in the eyes and strokes his hair)

Lila: It's gonna be ok, Leonard. (They smile together, and she briefly touches the corner of his eye)

(Suddenly Sheldon bursts in.)

Leonard: (Exasperated, he grabs his glasses, puts them on, and stands) Sheldon!

Sheldon: Sorry Leonard, but this is important.

Leonard: It's fine. It's 8:15am and no one is in the bathroom, go!

Sheldon: No, not that! There's a man downstairs who says he's Lila's fiancé!

Leonard: What?

Lila: (She stands and backs away from the door) I don't want to talk to him!

Leonard: (Standing up in front of her) You don't have to. (He fixes his glasses) I'll talk to him. (He pauses) ...He's not real big, is he?

Lila: Oh about.. (She levels her hand at a couple inches taller than Leonard)

Leonard: (gathering his courage) Okay then, wish me luck.

Lila: Leonard!.. you don't have to do this.

Leonard: No, I want to. I'll be fine. Now if you'll excuse me..

(cut to first floor stairwell. Jim is still wearing his tux, though it looks like he slept in it. Despite that, he is notably handsome.)

Jim: Are you Leonard?

Leonard: That's me...

Jim: (visibly concerned) Where's Lila? Is she alright?

Leonard: (Suddenly in reassurance mode) Oh, she's fine! You know, we were kids together, I'd never do anything to hurt her.

Jim: Ok, good. Look, Leonard, I made a big mistake. If she wants to have kids, we should have kids, right? The important thing is that we're together.

Leonard: Well.. I don't know.. having kids is a big decision...

Jim: I guess she told you everything, huh?

Leonard: She told me that much at least. … That, and your relative height. (Jim looks briefly confused) But look, if you-

Jim: It _is_ a big decision! You know, it's not like I hate kids or anything, I'm just not ready! I don't know that I ever will be!

Leonard: And that's perfectly understandable. You know, why don't you just head home and-

Jim: No! I'm tired of thinking this over. I can't lose her! (He starts heading up the stairs) Lila! Lila! It's me!

Leonard: Nonono, wait, she really doesn't want to see you right now, she-

(Lila appears at the top of the stairs)

Lila: Jim? What are you doing here?

Jim: I had to see you! Your mother said you came to see... this guy. (Leonard forces a smile and waves tentatively)

Lila: I did. I didn't know where else to go. What was I supposed to do?

Leonard: (obviously caught in the middle) You know I'll just be going – (Lila grabs his arm absently) Or I could stay-

Jim: Talk to me! I had no idea you were so upset! When you didn't show up to walk down the isle, how do you think that made me feel? You made me look like a fool!

Leonard: (nodding awkwardly) That would be embarrassing...

Lila: (ignoring Leonard) Why didn't you tell me before the wedding that you didn't want to have children? I feel like you were just leading me on! (Leonard nods again)

Jim: Who's leading who on, Miss Won't-do-it-till-we're-hitched! (Lila widens her eyes, Leonard looks quietly at the floor, then back at Jim) Look, I didn't mean that, I'm just- (Lila looks at Leonard briefly and starts back up the stairs)

Leonard: Look, I think you should go now.

Jim: You shut up. This doesn't concern you.

Lila: (Turning back toward Jim) You can't talk to him like that! I never want to see you again, Jim! You know, if I knew you were such a jerk, I'd have ended this a long time ago!

Jim: Fine! You know what, I'm better off without you! I can do better!

(Sheldon comes running down the stairs after Jim, who is leaving)

Sheldon: Wait, Jim! I'm sure you can work things out! Don't go! Don't leave her here! Jim! You don't understand! She made Alfredo on Tai food night! You've got to take her back! Jim! (Sheldon exists)

(Leonard smiles and shakes his head. He looks up the stairs to where Lila is. He sighs happily, and starts to head up, only to find her walking down with her purse.)

Leonard: Lila... are you sure you meant what you said earlier? I mean, after the wedding and the breakup, and the threat of never having kids of your own... do you really want me, or do you want to take care of .. you know, a child?

(Lila smiles sympathetically. She wraps her arms around him.)

Lila: I don't live here, Leonard, I've got to go pack my things. Maybe move into my sister's place.

Leonard: But what about- (she touches his lips)

Lila: Leonard.. thank you so much for letting me stay, but I'm a big girl, and I need to take care of this myself. (She kisses his cheek. Leonard sighs quietly and fidgets. When she starts toward the door, he opens it.)

Leonard: So... will I see you again soon?

Lila: (Smiling, she strokes his cheek) Definitely...

(Cut to the apartment, some time later, all the guys, Bernadette, Amy and Penny are sitting around eating Tai food)

Leonard: And I never saw her again...

Penny: (Patting his shoulder) That's okay, Leonard.. you'll always have me..!

Leonard: I will..?

Penny: No, not really. I was just trying to make you feel better. (She gives him a cheeky smile)

(the end)


End file.
